


To be worthy of a crown

by Alkeino



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), how he sees his position as the prince
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23596438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alkeino/pseuds/Alkeino
Summary: Arthur's thoughts on his position as the heir of Camelot and especially his future position as king. Bit of Merthur but mostly subtext. Quite short story, I really wanted to write what I think was how he saw the throne.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), subtext - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	To be worthy of a crown

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone ! Once again, a very short story with Arthur POV but this time when he's alive. I hope you will enjoy it (and I will probably soon write another short story but something funnier this time, so don't hesitate to check my works in the future!)

Kings succeed to each other, in Camelot as well as anywhere else. Being born into royalty seems to give you every blessings: wealth, power, fame, beauty and adoration even ! But what to do if you want more? What kind of greedy monster could wish for more?

As long as he recalls, Arthur was never satisfied. People and songs described him as handsome and fearless, the true image of a prince. Knights among knights, brave at heart! No one dares to cross his gaze. Wherever he goes, all will bow before him. His eyes are full of a world of arched backs, heads facing the grounds. He almost prefers that to the obedient smiles and honey-like words.  
His father is different: he rules over the kingdom and Arthur is one of his subject, no less no more. Maybe a bit more, because he is his son and his heir; maybe a bit less, because soon people will pay Arthur their respects and call him 'king', and Uther will be nothing more than a memory and some dust. Arthur is his heir, his son, a threat. Arthur understands that. He really does. It hurts but there is no escape: if he ignores his duties, he'll be a disappointment and a failure of a prince like so many exist. If he improves his skills in swordsmanship, deepens his knowledge, corrects his behavior, the better prince he is and the greater threat he becomes.  
So he backs down and accepts. 

He always craves for something, that he quite never knows what it is, but for sure something is missing. A hunger in his stomach that is trapped like a beast inside of him, that will never feel content. Studies and duels aren't enough. Everybody around him seems to go with the flow, whatever their fate is. Why doesn't anyone look as tortured as him? 'Feelings make you weak'. Arthur bury his thoughts and let the beast roar for he knows now that he has no way to free or satisfy it.

Destiny is all. Duty reigns in his mind. Be better, train more, act like a prince -already the gap between him and the world grows. He is high and all-mighty, proud and furious, dark, impetuous and loud. That is the price of the crown. Aches, sorrow and tears, he let go of that years ago. 'Feelings don't serve any purpose'. They make you weak. Arthur has learnt his lesson.

Arthur of Camelot is weak. And happier than ever before. He has a friend now. Merlin ! He is everything that is forbidden: a servant who doesn't know when to hold his tongue, cheeky and sassy as can be. Disrespectful! Who cares that Arthur is the prince? He's an idiot, a 'clot pole', whatever it means. He should have been beheaded for the way he talks to Arthur but this one doesn't care. He's not alone anymore.

Merlin was everything that is forbidden and now he's almost a sin. Bright eyes that shine most when he's with Arthur, ridiculously huge ears, soft and pale skin that feels like silk under Arthur's rough hands. The prince of Camelot is weaker than ever and he wouldn't change a thing. The servant guides him and shows him the world as seen by those who bowed in front of him all his life. He discovers sour misery, deep hunger, burning hate. Finally he understands the true meaning of being king.  
The beast purrs in his belly at most times. It never sleeps though, full but never satisfied. Arthur must keep moving.

He changed, says Merlin with a smile. He's probably right. He's no longer alone, ever, for the first time in his life. Gwaine, Morgana, Gwen, Lancelot... Days are spent in training and politics but smiles and eyes sparkle there and there. It's hard to believe in all this light sometimes. Arthur is alive, for real, because he feels. That's his father's true mistake: feelings make one stronger.

Power in one hand, Merlin in the other, he dares to look at the king's throne. The future is not so far after all. He swears to be different from his father. Merlin swears that it's already the case and he nods with a smile but he thinks 'more'. Arthur's name will go down in History. With the tip of his sword and the sharpness of his words he will change the world that Merlin sees. Maybe one day it will be enough to make disappear the fear that he tries to hide from time to time. Maybe that'll be enough to gain his trust: he knows when Merlin lies. Arthur will shape a world where Merlin and him can be true together. Their truth will reign. Blood, sweat and tears, smiles, sweet talks and diplomacy.

One day, Arthur will be worthy of the crown. Whatever it takes.


End file.
